Nothing Else Matters
by Fosterchild
Summary: A little Dallas and Tim slashy thing I wrote for the WSOTTA summer challenge.  I edited a little from there but it's still the same story. Not especially graphic but if you don't like slash then don't read. Oneshot.


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_Forever trusting who we are...and nothing else matters..._

If anyone ever found out about it I'd lose everything-my rep, my turf, my respect. Maybe even my life.

There's more to life that that, though, right? I have to hope that there is but I have no idea how to get beyond this life I have. It's all I've ever had and all I know.

I'm hard, cool, tough and mean. Maybe I wouldn't be if I didn't have the need for it. I learned real quick at a young age that you were either a leader or a follower and I've never followed anything.

I remember somebody saying once that they were never a kid and I'll tell you, I know exactly what they meant by that. I did all I could to let my brother and sister be kids but even they grew up too fast. Ah, it's probably for the best. You get tough ain't nothing can touch you. That's what Dallas was always preaching anyway. Was he right or wrong about that? Maybe both, I think.

I wonder how, then, did Dallas and I let our tough guard down? How did we end up here? Hiding. Hiding everything from the rest of the world. Hiding our feelings from everyone. Fucking feelings! When the hell did I ever start to feel?

xxx

This began so simple. We were drinking. A typical Friday night. It got really late and the group at Buck's started trailing out until only Dallas and I were left, trading shot for shot. As usual, trying to outdo each other until Buck told us we were done.

Dallas kicked back his barstool and stumbled toward the stairs up to his room. He turned a little too quick to look back at me with glazed, drunk eyes.

"You comin'?" he asked as he fell backwards into the wall.

I was too loaded to drive and knew I'd never make it walking so I shrugged and followed his wasted lead upstairs.

As soon as I closed and locked the door behind me Dallas turned around, slammed me into it by my shoulders and he was on me hard. He shoved his whole body rough against me and his mouth crashed onto mine.

My head was too wrecked to think so I just did what felt natural. I shoved him away with as much force as I could muster up in my state. Then I attacked him.

It was so primal. We clawed and grabbed for each other. We bit and kissed and sucked and groaned, both of us fighting for control. It was so typical me and Dallas.

We tore into each other until I finally won the battle over him.

The night is still like a fuzzy dream but the one thing I remember vividly is the moan he gave and the guttural sound of his voice when I took him. "I fucking love you, Tim."

That was all I needed to hear to push me right toward the edge. "Dallas…fuck..love...you…"

xxx

I wondered if anyone got the plate number of the truck that ran me over when I woke up late in the morning that Saturday. My head felt like there was a guy in there with a sledgehammer trying to get out. I didn't want to move because I knew I'd hurt but my arm was asleep.

I groaned trying to roll over and wake my arm up. I heard another groan and realized I wasn't alone. I opened my eyes and saw that blond hair and the night before came flooding back to me in raw bits and pieces.

"Fuck;" I said under my breath.

Dallas sat up slowly and looked down at me with his slight mean smirk. "What?"

"What the fuck, Dallas?"

He lit two cigarettes and handed me one which I gratefully took and rolled onto my back, glaring at him.

"Fuck what, Tim? You heard what I said last night and I heard what you said. Leave it at that." He took a long drag and blew it out hard. "It was just a fuck. Don't worry about it."

I didn't know what the hell he sounded so mad about. I had a bigger rep than him to keep intact and people who followed ME that wouldn't take too kindly to me and Dallas doing each other upstairs at Buck's. "Keep your mouth shut."

"Yeah, like I'm gonna say anything." He looked away from me then and sighed. He was quiet for a couple minutes then quietly I heard; "Did you mean it?"

I laughed to myself. Did I mean it? I've known him for years. The first time I met him was when we both got picked up for fighting each other and we'd been friends ever since. I wanted to kick his teeth in on more than one occasion and had at times. But he knew me and I knew him probably better than we knew ourselves. We knew what made each other tick. Sometimes that worked to our advantage. I knew just what to say to piss him off. But then, so did he. Did I love him? "I said it, didn't I?"

At that, he got off the bed and got dressed. I watched him, trying to remember and forget details of the blur that was last night. I never thought I could be that way but just looking at him and thinking about last night, I felt a stirring.

Just before he walked out he turned to look at me and smiled a genuine smile at me. "I'll see ya."

That was the only time we were ever together that way. Who knows if it ever would have happened again. Booze does weird shit to you. It did make me wonder, though and I'm not the wondering type.

A week after that, I kicked his ass for slashing my tires and a week after that he was dead.

And I still wonder…


End file.
